Asamee Blog

Today I walk past the movie room. I continue down the stone corridor past many doors. Some of the doors have symbols on them and others are unmarked. I've walked by these doors so many times but I've never opened all of them.

I consider going to the beach door. I've stepped through that door many times onto a beautiful peaceful beach. I had walked that beach many times and had fond memories but I'm not in the mood for memories or anything from the past. Perhaps it is time to try a new door.

I walk past many doors, including the beach door, waiting for a door to "call to me." But no door beckons so I keep walking, wondering just how many doors there are.

Finally, a door on my left catches my eye and I sense a resonation--or is that music coming from behind the door? I stop my journey through the corridor and step up to this door, reaching out to grab the doorknob. Slowly, I turn the knob and open the door.

With the door closing behind me, I step out onto a ledge on the side of a mountain. The ledge is no more than five or six feet wide. On the mountain side of the ledge is a shear rock cliff reaching far above me. As I step to the edge of the ledge I see that there is a shear vertical drop-off that stretched several hundred feet down. I step away from the edge and look to my sides. The ledge continues horizontally to both my sides as far as I can see. It is almost like a narrow foot path traversing the mountainous cliff.

Looking far below me, I see a large green valley. I see farms and pastures and meadows and forest and what looked like a small glass city. I briefly wonder what planet I am on. Stepping back away from the edge, I put my hands on the rock wall of the mountain. It certainly feels like planet earth.

I don't think I can walk the ledge so I sit down with my back against the cliff and look out over the land. The longer I stare at the scenery, the more I am overcome with feelings of intense peace. It is a very beautiful land, resonating within me; speaking to me of beautiful and grand stories that had been played out in this frequency. I felt myself being drawn into it.

I think of the mountain I am sitting on. What many and interesting histories the mountain must have been witness to. It surely did not miss much. Can I tap into the data bank by sitting on and leaning back against this mighty mountain? Can I tune into all the feelings ever felt in this land? And can I see its future?

I feel like a stranger; a traveler through this land who comes to observe but does not step down into the reality. I feel that I don't have to. I can feel it all from sitting there on the ledge.

Getting sleepy, I wonder if I fall asleep would I get stuck in that reality? Would I have to live through all the dramas and histories before I found my way back to my body on the ledge? Would it take me centuries or even millenia before I awoke?

I stand up. For a second, I waiver as I gain my equilibrium. I place my hand on the rock wall of the mountain to gather my balance. Taking a deep breath, I stand leaning back on the mountain and I watch the clouds in the sky. I spot a hawk and watch it spiral through the vast sky. I think of how the birds can watch a reality from lofty perspectives yet still dip down into the denseness of the activity below. Flying back up to the high sky, the hawk is unaffected; untainted by the histories of the land below. I admire the birds for that.

I wonder what this mountain ledge would be like in the middle of the night.

I sit back down with my back to the mountain. Staring out over the land and sky and watching the hawk, I start to hear the music.

I once worked for Fuller Brush. It was a hundred years ago during my first marriage (the Seventies). I had just been fired from a job and apparently was pretty desparate for a new job. I answered some stupid ad that said something like, "Be your own boss!" I had no idea I'd be selling brushes and household items door to door. I also had no idea how hard it would be.

So there I was going door to door with a satchel full of brushes and stuff. It was horrible. I've never had so many doors slammed in my face. The first week I think I made about forty bucks. How could I pay the rent on that? But motivational mumbo jumbo from the boss kept me perservering. I kept going thinking that I would get the hang of selling.

The second week I was given a new product to lug around with me door to door. It was one of those electrostatic hand-pushed carpet sweepers. The thing didn't weigh very much but after several blocks it started getting heavy and annoying. So now I had something in each hand as people slammed their doors on me.

That first day of the second week I didn't make a single sale and I was ready to quit. I was frustrated. It was on the next day that I rang a doorbell and the door was opened by a small Korean woman. The woman looked at me and then the carpet sweeper and then her face lit up with joy. She looked very surprised as well. Her mouth opened as though to say something but nothing came out.

I jumped into my sales spiel yammering away about top of the line quality brushes and other must-have quality products. Rarely had I been able to get through my entire spiel without someone stopping me or closing the door but this woman listened to every word I had to say in rapt attention. She seemed excited by everything I said. When I came to a breather in my monologue she pointed at the carpet sweeper, saying in broken English, "Tell me about carpet sweeper."

So I told her all about the new deluxe carpet sweeper with its many features and its incredible introductory low price. She didn't really seem to care about what I said though. Her smile widened as she abruptly waved me inside. I followed her through a hall into a living room and then into another room. She walked very quickly.

Suddenly she stopped and turned around to me, pointing to the floor by her feet. I looked down to the carpet where she was pointing and saw a mess of crumbs. I couldn't tell what kind of crumbs they were as they were pretty small. I figured she had already picked up the larger pieces. "Show me carpet cleaner clean that," she said with much excitement.

Setting my satchel down I slowly placed the carpet sweeper on the carpet and began sweeping over the crumbs. I passed over the crumbs time and again but to my horror the sweeper was only picking up a small amount of the crumbs. I continued to sweep over the crumbs but the crumbs were still there on the carpet. "Uh, I'm sorry...uh, but, uh, this thing doesn't seem to be working very well," I stammered as I continued sweeping, now a little more furiously.

Her demeanor didn't change, "Okay. I buy."

Instead of being thrilled I suddenly felt awful. I couldn't sell this woman something that didn't work. "You don't really want to buy this, do you? See, it really doesn't even work very well."

"Okay. I buy."

I swept furiously some more but then stopped. "In good conscience I don't think I can sell it to you. Look at all those crumbs still on the floor."

"Okay. I buy." Before I knew what was happening the woman grabbed the carpet sweeper out of my hand and took it with her to a table on the other side of the room. Setting it down, she rifled through her purse sitting upon the table. Quickly, she came up with the incredible introductory price and, leaving the sweeper by the table, she brought the money over to where I was standing, "I buy."

With my jaw dropped and a look of perplexed stupidity on my face, I took her money. I didn't know what to say.

She apparently sensed my confusion and commenced to explain, "Five minute ago I am on floor on knees cleaning up mess. I think to myself, 'Boy I wish I had carpet sweeper like on TV.' The next second doorbell ring and I open door. You stand there with carpet sweeper in hand. How can I not buy?!"

With my jaw still dropped she walked me back to the front door, saying, "Thank you. Come again." With the front door closed behind me, I stood there for a few minutes trying to figure out what just happened. I was still too young and ignorant way back then to fully appreciate the beauty of the moment.

That was the last house I went to. I went straight to my car and drove to my boss's house and turned in my satchel, quitting the job. I didn't make much money at that job. I was quite the failure. It would take me some time to realize, however, that everything I needed to learn from that job I learned in that one house call to the Korean woman.

© 2005, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. White Feather Books