Asamee Blog

I am standing at the top of some marble stairs. There are twenty-one wide steps leading downward. I used to go down these stairs all the time but I haven't in a long time. I've been going elsewhere.

I take three deep long breaths. Slowly, I move my right foot forward and step down onto the twentieth step. I pause briefly then step down with my left foot onto the nineteenth step. I block everything else out and feel myself descending. Slowly, with my right foot, I step down onto the 18th step. I'm not really looking at anything but rather concentrating on each and every step I take down the stairs.

Down I step to the seventeenth step then the sixteenth then the fifteenth. With each step down I find myself getting more relaxed and more focused on my descent. With my right foot I lower down to the fourteenth step and then the thirteenth then twelth. The light is getting darker and there seems to be a mist. Down to the eleventh, tenth, ninth, eighth... I feel myself lowering. Seventh, sixth, fifth... I seem to be getting lighter and time seems to have disappeared. Fourth step, third step... My breathing is very light as in sleep. Second step then first step.

Then I step down off the stairs and stand still for a moment. Before me are two steel doors that swing open like hospital doors or restaurant doors. I slowly put out my right arm then I push the right door open and walk through.

I walk into a corridor that is perhaps ten feet wide and ten feet high. The walls are made of cut stone blocks and the floor is flagstone. The lighting is dim and there is a very light mist in the air. It's almost like a tunne. I walk down the corridor and notice the many doors both on the left and on the right. The doors are heavy steel doors and they are unmarked. When I come to the third door on the right I stop.

I know that behind this door is a movie theater and I also know that if I keep going down the corridor that I would eventually get to that door that opened out to the beach. I reminisce a moment on my fond memories of that beach. But then I reach out my hand and turn the doorknob on the metal door before me.

I enter the movie theater and seat myself right in the middle. There are only about fifty or sixty seats. What I like about this theater is that the seats are extremely comfortable. They are like Lazy Boy recliners. You could be so comfortable watching the movies that you would forget all about your body. I set my seat in the reclining position and I am instantly comfortable as I look up at the big blank screen.

In this theater the movie up on the big screen does not come from a projector behind me but rather it comes from my own mind. All I have to do is focus my attention on something and then the movie will start at which point it is no longer necessary to focus. One merely needs to watch.

So I am ready to start watching a movie but I don't know what to focus on to start the movie. Unable to focus, my mind wanders. I am so comforable in my chair that I just let my mind go. I don't care what shows up on the screen. I surrender to the stillness and the comfort and the peaceful vibration. Before long, images begin to appear on the screen.

Landscapes begin shooting past from left to right as though I were on a train although it's not a train. It's too smooth; like I'm floating through the air. I'm not moving too quickly. It's a slow and steady pace; perhaps around forty miles per hour.

The landscape is flat without any mountains or hills and with only occasional trees. There is a lot of tall grass and it is being blown into waves by a strong breeze. The land seems to stretch forever.

I get a feeling of peace from the land but also some sadness. It feels like I'm looking at the land from the eyes of a small child. There are memories in this land yet it felt like I was seeing it also for the first time.

I sense the approach of something just beyond the horizon. I wonder where I was going. Before long I notice that the grass appears to be getting thinner and I spot a few small sand dunes. There are high puffy clouds in the sky and the air is thick with moisture.

Quickly, the dunes become larger and more frequent. I find my motion through the air is slowing and I am coming to a stop. As I stop I turn and face forward into the direction I had been traveling.

There before me is the ocean. All the sunlight glistening off the water forces me to squint my eyes for a moment until my eyes can adjust. As I look around me I see that I am on a sandy beach but it isn't the beach that I used to go to down the corridor. This is a different beach in a different place in a different time. I stare out over the water and see an armada of boats.

A knowing overcomes me that those boats are the only way out of this land. I feel that some day I will be on one of those boats and I will leave this place forever. But for now I am intensely happy just looking at the majestic schooners and the endless water and sky.

The camera in the movie now focuses in on a lone seagull flying over the waves crashing on the beach. I can hear the flapping of its wings and its occasional caw. I can feel it as it stretches its wings and glides on the wind. I watch the bird fly round and round for a few minutes then I look back down at the scenery around me and it is suddenly totally different.

Now I am in a mountain meadow, standing among wildflowers and grass. The camera slowly turns in a circle revealing snow-capped mountains all around the meadow. They are tall, beautiful, and rugged peaks and I suddenly get the feeling that the only way out of that meadow is to go over those mountains. I am in no hurry to leave the pristine state of the meadow, though. I walk around and around the meadow luxuriating in the smells and the textures and the birdsong. Eventually, I lie down in the grass and stare up at the clouds drifting across the sky.

I merge with a cloud and follow it over the mountains and away through the sky. I look down at the land below as I float over it. I see the mountains turn into hills and rolling farmland and forest. I see farms below and animals and rivers with boats and I see dirt roads with horses pulling wagons. Ahead, I see a city. There are many white buildings with red clay roofs. People mill through the streets and horse-drawn wagons clippity-clop on the cobblestone streets. I see laundry hanging on lines and children and dogs playing.

And now the cloud that I have merged with is suddenly coming apart. I then begin gently raining on the city.