Thursday, July 22, 2004
Entering Leo
by White Feather
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books by White Feather
"I walked out of court a free man."
That's kind of how it felt. Of course, I was just leaving court after finishing jury duty; it's not like I had just been exonerated of any heinous crimes or anything. It sure felt good to be done with it. I was terribly afraid I would be stuck in a trial that promised to last around a week. But alas, after 8 long hours in the courtroom I was dismissed and told I didn't have to come back. Yippee!
That's a good thing because I have a hot date tomorrow. I feared having to cancel it because of the jury duty. Tomorrow is my 19th wedding anniversary and I have a lunch date planned with my matrimonial partner. That was the only time she had open in her busy schedule so if jury duty had continued into tomorrow I would have missed that opportunity. This is what magnified my feelings of freedom upon leaving the courthouse.
Something else that fueled my euphoria and relief was the fact that I was done sitting on the hardest wooden bench I've ever spent 8 hours sitting on in my life. Now that was pure torture! The benches were long and wooden and very much like church pews. After a day on that hard wooden bench my butt and legs were numb and my back was writhing in agony. Now that I've done my duty I certainly hope I'm not called again for a long time but when I am I now know to be sure to bring a pillow and a book.
While it felt great to walk out those courtroom doors, once outside I realized that it was just starting to rain. Since I live just a few blocks away from the courthouse I had walked there so I couldn't just head to my car to get out of the rain. I briskly walked home as the rain intensified and lightning and thunder filled the sky. The walk would have been exhilarating if it were not for my aching back. By the time I got home the rain was pouring and my back was screaming.
My honey was home working on notes for her rehearsal tonight. After greeting and hugging Shawnee (I'm rarely gone from her that long) I lay down on the floor and "fixed myself" while I talked with my honey. I think that bench really threw my back out because it took me almost half an hour to fix myself but it was wonderful conversation time. I felt wonderfully better when I got up to kiss my honey good-bye as she left for rehearsal. I was eager to get online as I hadn't even been on the computer all day. But first, there was the matter of dinner for myself and my beloved four-legged ones.
With the animal children fed and my dinner cooking on the stove, I headed for the computer to turn it on. But I never made it. I got detoured by the television. Normally, the TV has little power in grabbing my attention but suddenly tonight with the house being so quiet it sounded like a good idea to watch a tiny bit of TV while I ate dinner before I got on the computer. So I stopped and turned the TV on.
I looked at the clock and saw that it was 6 o'clock sharp. "Simpsons time," I thought. Maybe 15 minutes worth of The Simpsons was just what I needed. I don't think I've watched more than one episode of The Simpsons in months, so I turned it to Fox, ready for a little humor but to my dismay the Simpsons episode that was on turned out to be that very one and only same episode that I've seen in the last few months. And it was still too fresh in my mind so I didn't want to watch it.
With the remote in my hand, I was about to turn the TV off when suddenly my hand went spastic and, of its own volition, turned the channel. I didn't even see what channel number my hand was turning it to. On the television screen a beautiful scenic picture came on. It was one of those old Panavision shots that being adapted to a TV screen had the black space above and below the picture. The scene immediately grabbed my attention. It was a nature scene and, as I looked closer, I realized the setting was the savannahs of east Africa. A jolt of electricity coursed through my body. As the camera panned across mimosa trees, baobab trees, gazelles, and zebras, I suddenly said aloud, "Oh my God! Is that Born Free?"
I had my answer within just a few seconds as the scene progressed to show a land rover pulling into a camp. The driver's wife came rushing out to greet her husband and her husband then proceeded to show her the lion cubs in the back of the jeep. Yes, it was Born Free! Goodness, golly; how long had it been since I saw that movie? 35 years? 40 years? Once again; Oh my God!
Born Free, by Joy Adamson was one of my favorite books as a young boy. I had read it a few times already before I ever saw the movie, which was a huge hit back in the Sixties. I cannot begin to explain how much I loved that story when I was a kid. I wanted so very much to go to Africa and find my own lion soul-mate to be friends with. At that young age I so empathized with Joy's intense unconditional love for Elsa the lion (and Elsa's intense unconditional love for Joy). Having a lion as a pet seemed so right to me and, of course, as a kid I desperately wanted an animal companion but my mother would not allow animals anywhere near the house. I had an imaginary pet tiger for a while but the Joy Adamson books made me also want a pet lion. I certainly had no fear back then of big cats. The love Joy had for her lion was something I felt before--even though that didn't make any sense to me then since I had no pet. Since then, I've learned of the roots of those feelings of love that were so very inexplicably strong in me as a kid. I learned that I did in fact have a lion as a pet once in a different life.
Well, I ended up having my dinner while watching Born Free and I ended up watching the whole movie, in fact I simply could not take my eyes off of it. I was thoroughly engrossed in it and it was more than just a flash from the past. I watched it with the same rapt enthusiasm as I did when I was a kid watching it for the first time. It wasn't until the movie was over that I realized that there were no commercials--and that I hadn't gone to the bathroom in two hours. I was utterly engrossed in it.
Oh, and what an absolute joy it was watching that movie! And it was sad, too. My eyes actually watered up pretty good when Joy released Elsa back into the wild not knowing if she would ever see her again. All the emotions from 40 years ago were still there--and I'm not one who easily cries with a movie. No, there haven't been many movies at all that can make me tear, in fact I can't seem to think of any right now.
Oh, and what a joy it was seeing the landscape of Kenya. That is something that has always made me melt in warm soothing feelings. The landscape itself makes me want to cry. When I was a young one I devoured every book on Africa I could find, no matter the reading level. I had to know everything about Africa, especially Kenya and Ethiopia. And the wildlife was at the top of my interest list. My young 9 and 10 and 11 year old noggin was a walking catalog of East African species information. Even though they were filmed in Florida--or where ever--Tarzan movies were never missed by me. I watched every nature show I could that was filmed in Africa. I read the Dianne Fossey and Jane Goodall books and I read about Dr. Leakey's digs in Africa and I read about what Africa was like before Whitey showed up with his big guns and started wiping out the animals. I read about the mythical ancient African civilizations and I loved pretending to be a Gorilla sitting on the slopes of a volcano in the rainforest. I simply couldn't get enough of Africa.
But what really burned the deepest impression on that young me was the pure unconditional love expressed in that story. Now I can see the many layers of metaphors in the story but back then I only saw the love. Animals are here to show us unconditional love and it is so blatantly obvious to me that I can't understand how some people cannot see it. My parents and siblings couldn't see it and this confused me as a child. But I've since learned that many, many people cannot see it. A lot of people can see it but don't want to. Some can see it only under certain conditions.
I am extraordinarily lucky in that my dog shows it to me every single solitary day. She reminds me constantly how pure and joyous love can be. Of course, to truly love her unconditionally I must let her "live free," but, as with Joy Adamson, that is very difficult for me. In the movie, Joy finally was able to set Elsa free and then it turned out the love was so strong that she eventually came back. It's just like the greeting card butterfly metaphor. Of course, when Elsa and Joy were reunited Elsa then had three little cubs with her. (Oh dear, I better not draw too many parallels there.)
Anyway, watching the movie, one wants Joy and Elsa to be together forever. Luckily, the movie ends before either of them die but one knew at some level that the love would certainly last forever. Love is like that; especially unconditional love.
So after I finished dinner (I hardly remember eating it) I got horizontal on the floor again and Shawnee lay down in front of me, spooning me. We watched the movie together and let me say that Shawnee really took interest in all the lion noises. Of course, she fell asleep halfway through the movie. I've never known her to stay awake through an entire movie. It sure felt good to have her with me for this viewing. That was missing for that first viewing close to forty years ago.
Watching that movie was such a delight. It made me tingly all over. It may just be a silly old fashioned movie to some, but it was very special to me. I was done with the TV after the movie but I did see a host come on after the movie to announce that there would be other lion movies coming on next. Apparently, lions were the theme for the night. And why? Because we just entered the sun sign of Leo! I laughed when the host said that. Now that's something you wouldn't have heard on the TV 40 years ago. Wow, what a great way to enter Leo!
That's kind of how it felt. Of course, I was just leaving court after finishing jury duty; it's not like I had just been exonerated of any heinous crimes or anything. It sure felt good to be done with it. I was terribly afraid I would be stuck in a trial that promised to last around a week. But alas, after 8 long hours in the courtroom I was dismissed and told I didn't have to come back. Yippee!
That's a good thing because I have a hot date tomorrow. I feared having to cancel it because of the jury duty. Tomorrow is my 19th wedding anniversary and I have a lunch date planned with my matrimonial partner. That was the only time she had open in her busy schedule so if jury duty had continued into tomorrow I would have missed that opportunity. This is what magnified my feelings of freedom upon leaving the courthouse.
Something else that fueled my euphoria and relief was the fact that I was done sitting on the hardest wooden bench I've ever spent 8 hours sitting on in my life. Now that was pure torture! The benches were long and wooden and very much like church pews. After a day on that hard wooden bench my butt and legs were numb and my back was writhing in agony. Now that I've done my duty I certainly hope I'm not called again for a long time but when I am I now know to be sure to bring a pillow and a book.
While it felt great to walk out those courtroom doors, once outside I realized that it was just starting to rain. Since I live just a few blocks away from the courthouse I had walked there so I couldn't just head to my car to get out of the rain. I briskly walked home as the rain intensified and lightning and thunder filled the sky. The walk would have been exhilarating if it were not for my aching back. By the time I got home the rain was pouring and my back was screaming.
My honey was home working on notes for her rehearsal tonight. After greeting and hugging Shawnee (I'm rarely gone from her that long) I lay down on the floor and "fixed myself" while I talked with my honey. I think that bench really threw my back out because it took me almost half an hour to fix myself but it was wonderful conversation time. I felt wonderfully better when I got up to kiss my honey good-bye as she left for rehearsal. I was eager to get online as I hadn't even been on the computer all day. But first, there was the matter of dinner for myself and my beloved four-legged ones.
With the animal children fed and my dinner cooking on the stove, I headed for the computer to turn it on. But I never made it. I got detoured by the television. Normally, the TV has little power in grabbing my attention but suddenly tonight with the house being so quiet it sounded like a good idea to watch a tiny bit of TV while I ate dinner before I got on the computer. So I stopped and turned the TV on.
I looked at the clock and saw that it was 6 o'clock sharp. "Simpsons time," I thought. Maybe 15 minutes worth of The Simpsons was just what I needed. I don't think I've watched more than one episode of The Simpsons in months, so I turned it to Fox, ready for a little humor but to my dismay the Simpsons episode that was on turned out to be that very one and only same episode that I've seen in the last few months. And it was still too fresh in my mind so I didn't want to watch it.
With the remote in my hand, I was about to turn the TV off when suddenly my hand went spastic and, of its own volition, turned the channel. I didn't even see what channel number my hand was turning it to. On the television screen a beautiful scenic picture came on. It was one of those old Panavision shots that being adapted to a TV screen had the black space above and below the picture. The scene immediately grabbed my attention. It was a nature scene and, as I looked closer, I realized the setting was the savannahs of east Africa. A jolt of electricity coursed through my body. As the camera panned across mimosa trees, baobab trees, gazelles, and zebras, I suddenly said aloud, "Oh my God! Is that Born Free?"
I had my answer within just a few seconds as the scene progressed to show a land rover pulling into a camp. The driver's wife came rushing out to greet her husband and her husband then proceeded to show her the lion cubs in the back of the jeep. Yes, it was Born Free! Goodness, golly; how long had it been since I saw that movie? 35 years? 40 years? Once again; Oh my God!
Born Free, by Joy Adamson was one of my favorite books as a young boy. I had read it a few times already before I ever saw the movie, which was a huge hit back in the Sixties. I cannot begin to explain how much I loved that story when I was a kid. I wanted so very much to go to Africa and find my own lion soul-mate to be friends with. At that young age I so empathized with Joy's intense unconditional love for Elsa the lion (and Elsa's intense unconditional love for Joy). Having a lion as a pet seemed so right to me and, of course, as a kid I desperately wanted an animal companion but my mother would not allow animals anywhere near the house. I had an imaginary pet tiger for a while but the Joy Adamson books made me also want a pet lion. I certainly had no fear back then of big cats. The love Joy had for her lion was something I felt before--even though that didn't make any sense to me then since I had no pet. Since then, I've learned of the roots of those feelings of love that were so very inexplicably strong in me as a kid. I learned that I did in fact have a lion as a pet once in a different life.
Well, I ended up having my dinner while watching Born Free and I ended up watching the whole movie, in fact I simply could not take my eyes off of it. I was thoroughly engrossed in it and it was more than just a flash from the past. I watched it with the same rapt enthusiasm as I did when I was a kid watching it for the first time. It wasn't until the movie was over that I realized that there were no commercials--and that I hadn't gone to the bathroom in two hours. I was utterly engrossed in it.
Oh, and what an absolute joy it was watching that movie! And it was sad, too. My eyes actually watered up pretty good when Joy released Elsa back into the wild not knowing if she would ever see her again. All the emotions from 40 years ago were still there--and I'm not one who easily cries with a movie. No, there haven't been many movies at all that can make me tear, in fact I can't seem to think of any right now.
Oh, and what a joy it was seeing the landscape of Kenya. That is something that has always made me melt in warm soothing feelings. The landscape itself makes me want to cry. When I was a young one I devoured every book on Africa I could find, no matter the reading level. I had to know everything about Africa, especially Kenya and Ethiopia. And the wildlife was at the top of my interest list. My young 9 and 10 and 11 year old noggin was a walking catalog of East African species information. Even though they were filmed in Florida--or where ever--Tarzan movies were never missed by me. I watched every nature show I could that was filmed in Africa. I read the Dianne Fossey and Jane Goodall books and I read about Dr. Leakey's digs in Africa and I read about what Africa was like before Whitey showed up with his big guns and started wiping out the animals. I read about the mythical ancient African civilizations and I loved pretending to be a Gorilla sitting on the slopes of a volcano in the rainforest. I simply couldn't get enough of Africa.
But what really burned the deepest impression on that young me was the pure unconditional love expressed in that story. Now I can see the many layers of metaphors in the story but back then I only saw the love. Animals are here to show us unconditional love and it is so blatantly obvious to me that I can't understand how some people cannot see it. My parents and siblings couldn't see it and this confused me as a child. But I've since learned that many, many people cannot see it. A lot of people can see it but don't want to. Some can see it only under certain conditions.
I am extraordinarily lucky in that my dog shows it to me every single solitary day. She reminds me constantly how pure and joyous love can be. Of course, to truly love her unconditionally I must let her "live free," but, as with Joy Adamson, that is very difficult for me. In the movie, Joy finally was able to set Elsa free and then it turned out the love was so strong that she eventually came back. It's just like the greeting card butterfly metaphor. Of course, when Elsa and Joy were reunited Elsa then had three little cubs with her. (Oh dear, I better not draw too many parallels there.)
Anyway, watching the movie, one wants Joy and Elsa to be together forever. Luckily, the movie ends before either of them die but one knew at some level that the love would certainly last forever. Love is like that; especially unconditional love.
So after I finished dinner (I hardly remember eating it) I got horizontal on the floor again and Shawnee lay down in front of me, spooning me. We watched the movie together and let me say that Shawnee really took interest in all the lion noises. Of course, she fell asleep halfway through the movie. I've never known her to stay awake through an entire movie. It sure felt good to have her with me for this viewing. That was missing for that first viewing close to forty years ago.
Watching that movie was such a delight. It made me tingly all over. It may just be a silly old fashioned movie to some, but it was very special to me. I was done with the TV after the movie but I did see a host come on after the movie to announce that there would be other lion movies coming on next. Apparently, lions were the theme for the night. And why? Because we just entered the sun sign of Leo! I laughed when the host said that. Now that's something you wouldn't have heard on the TV 40 years ago. Wow, what a great way to enter Leo!
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books by White Feather
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